How I Did The Impossible




For a long time coming, I had tried and failed repeatedly to achieve certain goals I set for myself.

New year's day were my most inspired day to start again. I somehow assumed that it would be better than the last one. 
When that failed, and it always did, I waited for my birthday which also happens to be in the month of January.

When that failed again, I'd look out for the first day in the month, or significant celebratory days like Easter, Christmas and so on. 
 But round and round I went, achieving nothing but frustration. First I thought the problem was with my will power. "if only my resolve could be stronger" I would say to myself. But the stronger my will, the harder I fell, the more depressed it made me. 

"People were doing it, why couldn't I" I would think to myself again. I asked myself many troubling questions 
🙋🏾 were other people better than I was? 
🙋🏾 was I destined to fail? 
🙋🏾 am I simply just too lazy to do what it takes? 
🙋🏾 will things ever change? 

From failed diets, to failed exercise routines, to failed habits adoption... I dropped the ball over, and over and over again. 

I gave up trying and joined the bandwagon of "what would be, would be". I stepped out from behind the wheels and handed my life over to fate. (what an error. Now that I think about it).

Because of my failure and inability to do the things I needed to change my life, I became bitter and resentful especially to those who were doing what I had come to see as impossible.

Whenever I saw someone share their amazing weight-loss story, (for example) I would make ridiculous faces and yimu (twitch my nose in a disbelieving way) at them.  'all na  wash' (it's a lie 🤥) I told myself. Not only did I take on the role of the modern day 'Thomas', I played a bit of 'Saul' antagonizing & hindering  those who dared to believe. 

As you would expect, I became the king of my own very shallow, and faulty mentality and the world passed me by. 

Despite my unbelief and resignation, something inside of me continued to cry for and seek expression. I was restless, and tired of being at the bottom & being the looser. I wanted to shine, to be liberated, to be relevant and significant. I wanted out. Now that I think back, that was my 'human spirit' being uncomfortable with where I had placed it.. 

And so, I tried again. You see one the first important lessons I learned while at my rock bottom status was this; "People hate, criticize, and antagonize what they don't understand & what they wish they had but don't.

As a matter of fact, the bitterness displayed by every hater and troll is simply an unfortunate attempt to pour out and immerse, if possible, drown others in their pain.

Deep  down, they envy you, wish they were you, wish they had your life and wish theirs didn't suck as much. So the next time they come at you for no good reason, here is hoping you can understand and more importantly ignore them while you keep doing you. 😉 

OK back to me.... 
While I was in a self instituted, husband supported rehab (bet I sound like some recovering junkie or alcoholic 😂) I turned to an amazing life saver  who turned on the lights in the dark room of my life. You see I had been in that dark room for so long, unknowingly, that I had started to develop and churn out so many negatives (📸).

 I knew I was better that what I was and where I was at, but I simply could not find my way out until I became aware that the lights had been out for quite a while.

That brings me to my 2nd lesson, "awareness is indeed the beginning of transformation" Stephen Covey in his book opened my eyes to a powerful truth. In my own words, "We can't succeed at making big changes if we haven't learnt to make the small ones. 

Now I knew I wasn't failing because I was too stupid, incompetent or lazy to achieve my goals (thank God 😌) I was a suffering from the biting more than I can chew syndrome. 

My paradigm had changed and my whole life soon followed suit. I realized most importantly, and this right here is the third lesson,  that I needed to start small. If I was going to move a mountain ⛰ I would need to start by moving the small stones.

I wasn't lacking willpower or discipline as I had thought, what I lacked was self integrity. 

I learned very quickly (3rd lesson) that when I am able to make and keep small promises to myself, my willpower and discipline which are like muscles 💪 needing exercise, grew stronger.

I started with as little as making a promise to brush my teeth before going to bed every night.

I remember the first few days I started making this change. It was simple yet hard. It wasn't yet a part of me so I expended loads of effort, mental effort (my brush isn't that heavy 😂) into getting it done. 

Maybe you're wondering, did I fail or falter....... You bet I did. But this time it was different. Not only had I learnt not to beat myself up when I fell short, or give up the task entirely, I now understood the concept of "Progress not Perfection". 

Before now, the moment I failed or missed a day, or ate the wrong thing or skipped my workouts, I stopped trying. An act which was similar to stabbing my other three (3) tyres, simply because I had a flat. 

The key, I realized, is to keep moving & trying;  celebrating yourself everyday you get it right until it becomes a part of you. 

You see, my life has changed since then, 
➡ I have consistently worked out 5 days a week since then
➡ My eating habits have greatly improved 
➡ My relationship with money changed. The old me couldn't save a dime even if my life depended on it. Now I have a piggy bank where I save dedicatedly, amongst other newly cultivated  financial habits 
➡ I  read at least a book 📙 every month (and I mean cover to Cover, 😉 😂) 
➡ I have kept a journal consistently for a while now without missing a day. 

If you're not clapping 👏🏾 👏🏾 for me by now, you must be amongst those haters 😡 😡 I mentioned earlier. (lol. Just kidding) 

And yes I still brush every night...... 

Now I know I wasn't a failure, I was merely a case of a fish judging myself by my ability to climb a tree... 

If you made it far, you are absolutely amazing! 
💪 💪 big ups to you. Now you're almost done. 


My transformation and journey was no accident... Maybe you identify yourself, somewhere in my story, don't be discouraged. I can help you if you will let me. Click here to sign up for a #noordinarylife and we'll do this together. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NO COCOON, NO WINGS

LIFE IS NO SANTA

I AM THAT PANDA 🐼